diff --git a/.pre-commit-config.yaml b/.pre-commit-config.yaml
index e8443a7f..7831eae6 100644
--- a/.pre-commit-config.yaml
+++ b/.pre-commit-config.yaml
@@ -62,20 +62,15 @@ repos:
     name: Disallow improper capitalization
     language: pygrep
     entry: PyBind|Numpy|Cmake|Github|PyTest
-    types:
-    - markdown
+    types: [markdown]
     exclude: ^docs/working-examples\.md$  # Autogenerated
-  - id: update-readme-changelog
-    name: Update README changelog
+  - id: cog
+    name: Cog the README
     language: python
-    entry: bin/update_readme_changelog.py
-    files: ^docs/changelog.md$
-  - id: update-readme-options-table
-    name: Update README options table
-    language: python
-    entry: bin/update_readme_options_table.py --force
-    files: ^docs/options.md$
     pass_filenames: false
+    entry: cog -c -P -r -I ./bin README.md
+    files: '^(README\.md|docs/changelog\.md|docs/options\.md|bin/readme.*)$'
+    additional_dependencies: [cogapp]
 
 - repo: https://github.com/codespell-project/codespell
   rev: v2.4.1
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index d40d7af0..8a8f9c54 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -124,8 +124,10 @@ The following diagram summarises the steps that cibuildwheel takes on each platf
 
 <sup>Explore an interactive version of this diagram [in the docs](https://cibuildwheel.pypa.io/en/stable/#how-it-works).</sup>
 
-<!-- START bin/update_readme_options_table.py -->
-<!-- This table is auto-generated from docs/options.md by bin/update_readme_options_table.py -->
+
+<!--[[[cog from readme_options_table import get_table; print(get_table()) ]]]-->
+
+<!-- This table is auto-generated from docs/options.md by bin/readme_options_table.py -->
 
 |   | Option | Description |
 |---|---|---|
@@ -159,7 +161,8 @@ The following diagram summarises the steps that cibuildwheel takes on each platf
 |  | [`debug-traceback`](https://cibuildwheel.pypa.io/en/stable/options/#debug-traceback) | Print full traceback when errors occur. |
 |  | [`build-verbosity`](https://cibuildwheel.pypa.io/en/stable/options/#build-verbosity) | Increase/decrease the output of the build |
 
-<!-- END bin/update_readme_options_table.py -->
+
+<!--[[[end]]] (checksum: 4d6a8418630e9ed43251973d93798a1b) -->
 
 These options can be specified in a pyproject.toml file, or as environment variables, see [configuration docs](https://cibuildwheel.pypa.io/en/latest/configuration/).
 
@@ -222,9 +225,7 @@ This is similar to static linking, so it might have some license implications. C
 Changelog
 =========
 
-<!-- START bin/update_readme_changelog.py -->
-
-<!-- this section was generated by bin/update_readme_changelog.py -- do not edit manually -->
+<!-- [[[cog from readme_changelog import mini_changelog; print(mini_changelog()) ]]] -->
 
 ### v3.0.0
 
@@ -278,7 +279,7 @@ _26 April 2025_
 
 - 🛠 Dependency updates, including Python 3.13.3 (#2371)
 
-<!-- END bin/update_readme_changelog.py -->
+<!-- [[[end]]] (checksum: ccccc1a3fec30c19a762ec4575fbd18d) -->
 
 ---
 
diff --git a/bin/readme_changelog.py b/bin/readme_changelog.py
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..29c30293
--- /dev/null
+++ b/bin/readme_changelog.py
@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env python3
+
+import re
+from pathlib import Path
+
+PROJECT_ROOT = Path(__file__).parent / ".."
+CHANGELOG_FILE = PROJECT_ROOT / "docs" / "changelog.md"
+
+# https://regexr.com/622ds
+FIRST_5_CHANGELOG_ENTRIES_REGEX = re.compile(r"""(^###.*?(?=###)){5}""", re.DOTALL | re.MULTILINE)
+
+
+def mini_changelog() -> str:
+    changelog_text = CHANGELOG_FILE.read_text()
+
+    mini_changelog_match = FIRST_5_CHANGELOG_ENTRIES_REGEX.search(changelog_text)
+    assert mini_changelog_match, "Failed to find the first few changelog entries"
+
+    return f"\n{mini_changelog_match.group(0).strip()}\n"
+
+
+if __name__ == "__main__":
+    print(mini_changelog())
diff --git a/bin/update_readme_options_table.py b/bin/readme_options_table.py
similarity index 60%
rename from bin/update_readme_options_table.py
rename to bin/readme_options_table.py
index f78cbeac..203d6bf5 100755
--- a/bin/update_readme_options_table.py
+++ b/bin/readme_options_table.py
@@ -1,13 +1,11 @@
 #!/usr/bin/env python3
 
-import argparse
 import dataclasses
 import re
 from pathlib import Path
 from typing import Final
 
 DIR: Final[Path] = Path(__file__).parent.parent.resolve()
-README: Final[Path] = DIR / "README.md"
 OPTIONS_MD: Final[Path] = DIR / "docs" / "options.md"
 
 SECTION_HEADER_REGEX = re.compile(r"^## (?P<name>.*?)$", re.MULTILINE)
@@ -17,11 +15,6 @@ OPTION_HEADER_REGEX = re.compile(
     r"^### (?P<name>.*?){.*#(?P<id>\S+).*}\n+> ?(?P<desc>.*)$", re.MULTILINE
 )
 
-README_OPTIONS_TABLE_SECTION = re.compile(
-    r"""(?<=<!-- START bin\/update_readme_options_table.py -->\n).*(?=<!-- END bin\/update_readme_options_table.py -->)""",
-    re.DOTALL,
-)
-
 
 @dataclasses.dataclass(kw_only=True)
 class Option:
@@ -31,17 +24,7 @@ class Option:
     section: str
 
 
-def main() -> None:
-    parser = argparse.ArgumentParser(
-        description="Update the options table in the README from docs/options.md"
-    )
-    parser.add_argument(
-        "--force",
-        action="store_true",
-        help="Updates the README inplace, rather than printing to stdout.",
-    )
-    args = parser.parse_args()
-
+def get_table() -> str:
     options_md = OPTIONS_MD.read_text(encoding="utf-8")
 
     sections = SECTION_HEADER_REGEX.split(options_md)[1:]
@@ -58,7 +41,7 @@ def main() -> None:
             )
             options.append(option)
 
-    table_md = "<!-- This table is auto-generated from docs/options.md by bin/update_readme_options_table.py -->\n\n"
+    table_md = "\n<!-- This table is auto-generated from docs/options.md by bin/readme_options_table.py -->\n\n"
     table_md += "|   | Option | Description |\n"
     table_md += "|---|---|---|\n"
     last_section: str | None = None
@@ -78,21 +61,8 @@ def main() -> None:
         table_md += "| " + " | ".join(cells) + " |\n"
     table_md += "\n"
 
-    if not args.force:
-        print(table_md)
-        return
-
-    readme_text = README.read_text(encoding="utf-8")
-
-    if not re.search(README_OPTIONS_TABLE_SECTION, readme_text):
-        msg = "Options section not found in README"
-        raise ValueError(msg)
-
-    readme_text = re.sub(README_OPTIONS_TABLE_SECTION, table_md, readme_text)
-    README.write_text(readme_text, encoding="utf-8")
-
-    print("Updated README with options table.")
+    return table_md
 
 
 if __name__ == "__main__":
-    main()
+    print(get_table())
diff --git a/bin/update_readme_changelog.py b/bin/update_readme_changelog.py
deleted file mode 100755
index 024a2337..00000000
--- a/bin/update_readme_changelog.py
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,48 +0,0 @@
-#!/usr/bin/env python3
-
-
-import re
-import sys
-from pathlib import Path
-
-PROJECT_ROOT = Path(__file__).parent / ".."
-CHANGELOG_FILE = PROJECT_ROOT / "docs" / "changelog.md"
-README_FILE = PROJECT_ROOT / "README.md"
-
-# https://regexr.com/622ds
-FIRST_5_CHANGELOG_ENTRIES_REGEX = re.compile(r"""(^###.*?(?=###)){5}""", re.DOTALL | re.MULTILINE)
-
-# https://regexr.com/622e5
-README_CHANGELOG_SECTION = re.compile(
-    r"""(?<=<!-- START bin\/update_readme_changelog.py -->\n).*(?=<!-- END bin\/update_readme_changelog.py -->)""",
-    re.DOTALL,
-)
-
-
-def main() -> None:
-    changelog_text = CHANGELOG_FILE.read_text()
-    readme_text = README_FILE.read_text()
-
-    mini_changelog_match = FIRST_5_CHANGELOG_ENTRIES_REGEX.search(changelog_text)
-    assert mini_changelog_match, "Failed to find the first few changelog entries"
-
-    mini_changelog = "\n".join(
-        [
-            "",
-            "<!-- this section was generated by bin/update_readme_changelog.py -- do not edit manually -->",
-            "",
-            mini_changelog_match.group(0).strip(),
-            "",
-            "",
-        ]
-    )
-
-    if not re.search(README_CHANGELOG_SECTION, readme_text):
-        sys.exit("Changelog section not found in README")
-
-    readme_text = re.sub(README_CHANGELOG_SECTION, mini_changelog, readme_text)
-    README_FILE.write_text(readme_text)
-
-
-if __name__ == "__main__":
-    main()